I met D randomly one day.
I was sitting in a park after a gym session one day. I was listening to music, zoning out to my idle thoughts and smoking a cigarette*. He approached me and damn near scared the shit out of me. He apologized for startling me before he proceeded to tell me that he was on his way to play soccer with his friend but couldn’t help but notice me and he had to take the chance to say hi.
*Smoking is my secret vice. It’s been with me for so long and it’s not something I do socially which can be seen as ironic since it’s usually the opposite for people. It’s not something I tend to openly admit. I’m not so much ashamed of it, it’s just most people don’t smoke and I generally try to be polite about it. I love smoking though. One day I’ll stop and just miss it instead.
I can’t exactly remember what he looks like but I remember him being pretty cute. He was from England and spoke with a bit of an accent. It was charming. I was pretty turned on by his confidence. I was also just freshly out of communication with my ex*. That’s why I was sitting there doing what I was doing. I was idly moping. I was trying to live in a bit of a sad moment because that’s how I felt, ok? When he chatted me up, I was flattered but also hesitant. We chatted for a little while before he said he should probably meet up with his soccer friends. He asked me for my number. I gave it to him but on one condition.
*It was like the day after. It didn’t last long. We would still continue talking for about a month after this before it finally ended.
I told him I wasn’t really interested in anything or anyone but myself at the moment and I wanted to keep it that way. I told him that while I am flattered I needed a bit of time. I asked him to respect my request of waiting at least 2-3 weeks before messaging me because of this. If he couldn’t, I’d simply ignore his message but I would really, really appreciate if he could do this for me. He said yes. I believed him. Off we went our separate ways.
He messaged me in less than the time I requested but not too quickly. I told him my sister was in town soon and that I would be unavailable to meet until after. He was understanding about it. I gave him a date just so it didn’t seem like I was being flimsy. I didn’t hear from him for over a month after. By then though, I wasn’t interested anymore. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I was attracting all these guys who had flimsy interest and I was learning to not tolerate it. I decided that kind of effort didn’t make me feel good and instead of putting up with it, I’d just tell them no thanks and move along. When D finally hit me up, that’s how I felt about him so that’s what I said to him. He laughed at me and told me I was being too serious.
I brushed it off and didn’t think much of it. I felt like I was dealing with this kind of thing frequently enough that I had no polite thought to give anymore. How I felt mattered to me more and that was okay.
Flash forward to yesterday. I get a text from a number I didn’t recognize. When I asked who it was, a text back said, “I’m persistence”. When I didn’t care for the reply, a text said that it was D. I just said “Oh.” before I added, “I don’t think you’re persistent, just random”. He tells me I’ve been on his mind quite a bit recently and that he could use a morning cuddle buddy. I decline the offer. I told him that I was seeing someone who was sweet on me and could show it. It was half a lie. I didn’t care.
Then he told me he was getting married in a couple of days. I said that’s gross and good luck with that. I didn’t mean getting married was gross. It was gross of him to be doing this right before he puts a ring on someone else’s finger. I don’t understand how people are like this. Especially with people they don’t know. I can somewhat understand complicated stories but this is pretty simple. It’s also really dumb.
I used to be really bad at shutting this kind of stuff down. Now I acknowledge the level of dirtbagness and respond accordingly.