Sick & Bleeding

This is me right now and it’s not because of depression or a hangover for once.

apartment bed carpet chair

Last time this year I had the flu. It was probably the sickest I’d been since I was sixteen. It was really bad. It also made me experience something I wasn’t prepared for, which was being that ill and having no one but me to take care of myself and comfort me. It was this strange realization of loneliness and the ability to accept it. I also had my period which the cycle went parallel with the sickness.

The highlight of that sickness was when I finally could muster up the energy to see a doctor and get a note for work. I thought he was just going to look at my throat or make me pee or take my blood or whatever but he checked me with a stethoscope on my back and chest. At first, I was hesitant because I didn’t have a bra on. I didn’t even think to put on one. Then I realized he’s a doctor and this is normal. So up my shirt went.

I ended up paying $20 for a doctor’s note. I paid money to accidentally flash a doctor.

This time around it’s all happening again with the pairing both back. Fortunately, it’s to a lesser degree than last time but it still sucks. I don’t really have the appetite to stuff my face but I’m doing it anyway because my body thinks it needs chocolate to live right now. I’m waking up in sweat and drool. I can barely stay awake throughout the day. I wish I had Nyquil because I enjoy the delusions of it when I’m sick.

I think I’m about to pass out again.

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