My Dumb Review: Halloween (2018)

Jamie Lee Curtis and Nick Castle in Halloween (2018)

I think I’ve seen all, if not most, of the Halloween movies. I can’t remember most of them though. I vaguely remember H20 and Resurrection but only in a nostalgic pop culture way because I’ve watched pretty much every movie during the late 90s-early 2000s. I could beat the shit out of anyone in movie trivia for that period. Or anything related during this time. It’s my jam.

Big ups on Jamie Lee Curtis on reviving the role of Laurie Strode throughout 40 years since the original but it should’ve stopped at H20. JLC even knew this. She called Resurrection a joke and did it for contractual obligation, not interest. I want to know what she thought after making this latest one. I want to know if or what she said to Jake Gyllenhaal (who convinced her to revive her role) when she finished. Can she trust his judgment after this? Was it for Danny McBride (of Eastbound & Down fame, who was a writer for this movie)? Was it worth it for any of them to make it happen? I want to sit in a room with the three of them and have a discussion.

Watching this movie stressed me out. It stressed me out the way “Train to Busan” did but instead of getting really upset with one character, it’s the whole movie. White people in horror movies stress me out. The things they do in horror movie stress me out. I get invested sometimes with the stress and yell at whatever screen I’m watching it on. My reaction can be a mixture of melodramatic and frustration.

This franchise should have ended at H20. For fuck’s sake, she decapitated him in that one. It was already pushing it making another one after that.

Spoiler Questions: 

  • If Michael Myers survived a house fire in Resurrection, why is he getting finished the same way again? Do you really think it stopped him this time? Like actually? Because Laurie set that shit off this time?
  • Why make this movie and discontinue the storyline of Michael and Laurie being brother and sister? Why have her so obsessed about this moment coming if you take this connection out? Also, if it’s neither a remake or reboot, and rather, a recalibration… why the fuck was shit so glossed if she’s that obsessed until ha, ha, ha, she told you so?
  • If Laurie can blow his fucking fingers off… WHY DIDN’T THEY TRY TO CHOP AT HIM AND THEN CHOP HIM DEAD INTO PIECES SO THEY CAN SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING HE AIN’T COMING BACK?
  • James Jude Courtney consulted real-life killers to make the killings more believable… BUT THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN WHEN MICHAEL STRAIGHT UP STOMPED THAT DUDE’S HEAD AND IT JUST SMASHED LIKE A PUMPKIN?

There were moments at the beginning and some of the middle that felt like a homage to the old movies. But as the movie progressed towards the end, it started feeling like, fuck it, let’s make this showdown but let’s try to make it a family function. It didn’t tie together. It felt unnecessarily thrown together. They should’ve just picked one or the other. Some of the scenes that lead to deaths felt like the climax for optimizing kills fell just short of satisfaction.

JLC didn’t want Laurie Strode and Michael to keep going after H20 yet she’s reprised it twice now. There are rumors of a sequel. If you didn’t want to make two movies out of this like it was originally intended then leave the sequel and just put this franchise to rest until a reboot happens which, judging by how they go these days, should be by next year.

I never intended for these feelings or thoughts when I started the movie and looked up the trivia. But here we are, over 600 words later.

 

 

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