Mindless Thoughts

  • I managed to make it to the gym this morning where I sweated way more than usual. I took it as a sign that my body was removing, not toxins, but the embarrassment that was my being from Friday. I feel better now.
  • I don’t know why, but lately, I’ve been thinking about that time I found myself crying and eating a corndog at a beach in Costa Mesa. This was years ago, I don’t even remember why. My next thought when I think this is always the moment later that night when I got into a fight with G and he stopped me in the middle of my crying and said, “Damn baby, who hurt you so badly?”. Then I cried some more, got more mad then he held me and everything was okay. For the rest of the trip, I called him my retard until we parted ways.
  • Last night I had a dream about this guy that I used to really like but we could never get our shit together to get together. We tried though, here and there, for like, six years. In the dream, he told me he was still in love with me and that he was mad at me for not wanting to get together because I wouldn’t let him be my sugar daddy. Which is hilarious because one of my cemented memory of him is the time my friend kicked me out of her car and left me stranded with his super drunk ass. While confessing his love for me, told me he would give me the world if he could but he was in debt. I haven’t spoken to him in a couple of years.
  • I’ve realized I have a fear of deadlifts now. Maybe it’s because of my tendency to pee when I go heavy with sumos. I’m struggling with conventional. The strength is there but there’s this invisible barrier I’m not breaking. I don’t have the confidence in them.
  • Okay, lame confession. I really want to get better at singing but I’m way too fucking shy to take it seriously and feel like a loser when I do. I legit get this feeling of expecting pointed fingers and snickers from people who can actually sing super well. It’s so embarrassing but damnit… I should at least keep trying and get over this fear. It’s hard to practice at home. I share thin walls with my neighbours.
  • Guys, seriously, chicken breasts suck to eat. It’s so boring and bland. I really dislike white meat and prefer darker pieces because they have more flavor and taste better. If the reason people choose white is that it’s healthier, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.
  • I’m slowly relearning to read Vietnamese by accidentally discovering this channel that makes BTS (AND SUPER JUNIOR!) clips with both English and Vietnamese subtitles. It’s wild that I can get it.
  • Random dumb fact about me: I wash my hair with different rice than the one I use to cook. I do this about 3-4 times a week.



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