My Language of Love is Words of Affirmation. I know some people think this shit is silly and I think those who take it too seriously are but they can be really helpful in your relationships and not just the romantic ones. I made my best friend take the test once and his language came out as Acts of Services. Since then, I’ve been understanding him better than I have in all the years we’ve known each other. This weekend, with the money he gave me, I pulled in outfits for work and life. I got him started on a basic but dope shoe game (because I’ve learned how important this is). The feedback I’ve gotten from him in how it’s made him feel is exactly why I did it. Homeboy deserves to feel good about himself and represent that. I’ve also learned that I’m pretty good at this kind of shit so basically I’m a stylist for awkward men now if anyone is hiring.
Confession: I just want a nice ring on my ring finger and people can assume I’m getting married but it’s just an adult commitment ring until one of us dies and if the other person wants to do the ring thing too, we’ll elope or do City Hall thing (or is that just the states?? – I honestly don’t know). Unless they want to do the wedding thing – I’ll do it for them. I want to meet someone who’s genuinely into this and I can tell will follow through with it because most people talk shit and I don’t have time for that anymore. If you blink, you’re out because it should be mutual, not convinced. Why does it have to be a ring, you ask? Why can’t I just be happy being with the person without any materials? Because I want a nice ass ring and to show commitment visually, goddamn. Ring checks become a thing, let’s make it easier for everyone and it makes me happy. Get off my dick if you’re on it.
I told myself last year that I was going to get to a better spot this year and I did. Now I’m in a better spot and the momentum is getting going. I never thought I’d feel the way I do lately, with the sincerity that’s there and with the foundation that I have. Every day still blessed with more opportunities and no longer that fear of taking it.
I’ve decided I don’t think I’m a dress wearing person. Like, I’m a sundress and sneakers kind of gal but professionally, I like a Diane Keaton kind of look. I’m going to dive into more of that this year. I’m also making the decision to get my shit tailored to me. I feel like this will be the year for my style game and I’m pretty excited.
Lesson learned: Just because it fits doesn’t mean it fits. For years I wore a size 23 in jeans. But it was either I fit them, or barely fit them. Then it was just me squeezing into them. I can probably still squeeze into them but it’s not pretty. I’ve gone up a size now and it’s so much more comfortable. I mean, if I still lose the weight I’d like, it’s still going to be comfortable. It also fits my lower body better. It’s been a weird thing to accept because I thought size defined things. It doesn’t. Like, I thought because I’m short, I should buy small things. I didn’t understand proportions. I used to buy xs in underwear and now I’m sitting at mediums and I’m all for them.
I think it’s time to give some care to what I eat. Only a little bit though. Though I have been drinking a lot more beer than I usually do so maybe not.