I blurred my brother’s face at his request.
Even though I now have quite a few siblings, I didn’t grow up with any of them. We’re basically a family but like only children. For a while, it was just my brother and me but even then we lived apart. Our parents’ dysfunction kept us apart. So did our own damages trying to cope. Then my first sister came around, but I wasn’t there to watch her grow up. My stepsister came after that but I couldn’t connect because I already had my actual sister and I didn’t really like her during that time. Things came together with the latest (and hopefully last) one. We became a village for her. Last summer was the first and probably only time I’ll ever get to have time with all of us together.
Our parents put us through a lot. For years, we stayed pretty separated because of it. There were years where the older ones of us hated each other. I mean, like really hated. I don’t think the family dysfunctions will ever stop, but we’ve gotten to a point where there’s peace between us. Love is too strong of a word for some of us, but care is definitely there.
Even with all my siblings, my parents still want grandkids even though they look at my brother and me with hopelessness. They’ve already beaten us to the punch during times we could have had them. With my dad, I told him he’s technically already a grandfather if we think about it. It didn’t amuse him. To my mother, I told her only if she moved in with me and becomes a grandmother which she said no to.
I don’t even know if I want kids at this point. My siblings are enough. I mean, I literally saw my sister pop out of my mum by accident. The littlest one is already a little version of me 2.0. The step is like me when I was her age, but to a more follow through extreme. I’m keeping my teenage sister on a good route by teaching her from my mistakes and somehow being an adult about it. My brother… is my brother. I take care of him how I can.
To be honest, it’s difficult for us, except maybe me and my sister. But it’s chill and more than what I could ask for at this point in my life.