It’s Okay To…

This is something I’ve been learning to say to myself more, in both a proper and healthier manner. The meaning is still a struggle to figure out, but it’s not so bad. Like…

It’s okay to stay at your current dosage of antidepressants and maybe it’s not time to go back down yet. It’s okay to take your time and try it again later.”

I attempted to go down my current antidepressant dose because I thought I was ready to. I can feel the difference so maybe it’s not the right time. Maybe with a few more months of the current change, I can try it again then.

“It’s okay to embarrass yourself and dust yourself off. It’s okay to let go of thinking in an all-or-nothing mindset when it happens. You’re still shedding. It’s whatever.”

A few weeks ago, I went to a dinner party, and I got too drunk. I can be a light-switch once I go over my cut-off point. I used to shit on myself pretty badly for this because of the shame I felt from the embarrassment. Now I still feel those things but I try to understand and be more mindful. I’m teaching my mind to be aware but I’m also telling it we can be idiots.

“It’s okay to have experience with no expectations.”

I went on a blind date recently just for the experience. To be honest, after it, I think I prefer them over dating app set ups. Can we get people interested enough to bring those back? I think it’d be good. I went on the date with no expectations and came out with a good time. It’s not something I will do again soon, because I’m not in the life spot for arrangement but still, it was a lot of fun. Thank you to my co-worker for setting it up and the guy for the company. There was no spark but I hope we can be dance buddies at least because it was fun how we ended the night with that.

“It’s okay to go back to therapy even if you have none major issues going on.”

Last year I was in weekly therapy. Some sessions were intensive because of all I was dealing with. It was heavy shit. Even though last year was super awful, I think I coped with it because of the therapy I did. I learned when I didn’t realize I did. Now I’m going back because I’m in a good spot and it’s not something I’m used to, so it feels overwhelming. I don’t want to feel defeated by it thinking I can handle it. I’ve made that mistake before. I need help with the transition; you know? I have a wonderful support system, but they all have their own lives, and this is what a counselor/therapist is paid to do. It’s okay to build strength and it doesn’t have to wait until I hit a weak point.

“It’s okay to gain weight and have a new normal.”

I’ve been having trouble accepting this. Even when I tell myself it’s okay. I guess there’s somewhere in there that I have to admit maybe I think like, I’m losing chances with someone ideal or my bad flaws will only enhance because of it. I think I’ve realized this has to do with my inner judgment I don’t want to face. I don’t like when I have to check my judgment. I figured out the spin bike at the gym though.

 

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